The inner chaos of a web guy's mind.
Posts tagged parents
Why parents drink…
Nov 21st
This is an oldie but a goody, I remember this letter from years ago so when I got it in an email this afternoon I just had to post it on the site. Being a parent now this letter has so much more meaning. The email was entitles “Why Parents Drink…“. It is so funny, anyone that is a parent will cringe and seriously as funny as it is THIS IS NOT A GOOD PRANK TO PLAY ON YOUR PARENTS!!!
A Mother passing by her son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to ‘Mom’ With the worst premonition she opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Mom:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it’s not only the passion… Mom she’s pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
Don’t worry Mom. I’m 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son Paul
P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I’m over at Dustin’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that’s in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it’s safe to come home!
Video game morality
Mar 27th
I love video games, the escape and the entertainment factor of playing games. Half-Life 2, Homeworld, Blaster Ball, Call of Duty, there are an infinite number of game titles that populate the shelves of retailers of the world. A large number of these games actually teach our kids some great motor skills and a lot of them are very educational games that can aid in our children’s development.
There comes a time though when the moral question of “just because we can should we?” comes up. Society in general has failed to provide the right answer to this question on many occasions. Lets take one game that disturbs me to no end, which has pushed the limits of this morality question.
The Grand Theft Auto – Series.
OMG this entire series should be banned from all retailers and all copies systematically destroyed. Rockstar Games and Take-two Interactive the major publishers of this filth should be put under close scrutiny when publishing any new games in the future. The parents that allow their children to play these games should be forced into parenting classes. Come on people what are you thinking allowing your kids to be educated by this morally corrupt garbage. This game allows and even rewards it’s players for terrorist like behavior, assaulting innocent people and law enforcement officers. You get rewarded with money for luring prostitutes into your car and beating them in the back seat.
Come on people this is utter filth and pointless, why would any company want to be affiliated with a complete lack of morality praising the behaviors that we as a society are trying to stop. We try and teach our children morals and appropriate behavior but then allow them to play video games that they are exposed to are teaching them to complete opposite. Its like training to be a criminal, Microsoft came under fire for the accuracy in the flight simulator series after the 9-11 attacks. You have got to be kidding me about this crap, our kids are playing GTA and training to be total criminals and rewarded for abhorrent behavior but a game that actually educated and prepares out children for future careers in aviation comes under fire. Grab a freaking brain people how does a game like GTA stay in production and is able to release so many sequels. This a time when censorship is well needed and yet it fails to protect our youth from this utterly barbaric crap.
I know what some will say, what makes Half-Life, Battlefield, Call of Duty, Rainbow Six, and many other Violent titles with a mature rating different from GTA. Well incase you can’t figure this out for yourself, I’ll spell it out for you. These other games involve surviving through attacks from alien races that DON’T exist, defending from bad guys (terrorists) in rainbow six, reliving previous wars in the Call of duty series and guess what you are penalized for taking an innocent life. If that isn’t enough difference for you these games have limits of what you can do in them. GTA has no limits of how morally corrupt the player can become.
It is our responsibility as adults and parents to teach and mold our children into the people that they deserve to be. Guidance and education, discipline and consequence where have these values gone when we are raising our children. Video games and television are major influences in our children’s lives and that is not going to go away. We need to make sure that what we allow them play and allow them to watch programming that teaches them correct values and helps them to make the right decisions in life. I’m not condoning complete censorship of everything as I am a firm believer of freedom of speech. However there should be some moral standards held when publishing products targeted at our children.
For Parents
Jan 8th
Dear Kids,
Don’t be alarmed, the world isn’t coming to an end. I am simply taking a bath. It will take about 30 minutes and will involve soap and water. Yes, I know how to swim. Even if I didn’t, forcing myself to drown in a half-inch of lukewarm water is more work than I’ve got energy for. (Which reminds me, I’m all for science projects, but the next time you want to see if Play-Doh floats, use cold water.)
Don’t panic if I’m not out right on time. I’ve heard that people don’t dissolve in water and I’d like to test the theory. While I’m in the tub, I’d like you to remember a few things, the large slab of wood between us is called a door. Do not bang to hear my
voice. I promise that even though you can’t see me, I am on the other side. I’m not digging an escape tunnel and running for the border, no matter what I said a while ago, I didn’t mean it. Honest.
There will be plenty of time later to tell me about your day. Later means at a time when I am no longer naked, wet, and contemplating bubble gum in the blow dryer. I know you have important things to tell me. Please let one of them be that you have invented a new way to blow bubbles, not a new way to add gum to your hair.
Believe it or not, shouting, “TELEPHONE!” through the closed bathroom door will not make the phone stop ringing. Answer it and take a message. Since Amazing Mind-Reading Mom has the day off, you’ll need to write that message down. Use paper and a pencil. Do not use your brother and the laundry marker. We can’t send him to school with telephone-number tattoos.
Water makes me wet, not deaf. I can still tell the difference between the sound of “nothing” and the sound of a child playing the piano with a basketball. I can also hear you tattling at the top of your lungs. I’m choosing not to answer you.
Don’t call your dad at work and tell him I am unconscious in the bathroom. He didn’t appreciate it last time. He won’t appreciate it this time. Trust me.
No matter how much I would like it, water does not make me forgetful. I remember who you are and why you are grounded. No, you can’t go to Shelby’s house to play. No, you can’t go to Shelby’s house to use the bathroom.
If someone is in our other bathroom, you will just have to think dry thoughts and wait. Unless you have four feet and a tail, do not think of going outside to “water” the lawn. I know the dog does it. The neighbors don’t feel the need to call me when the dog does it.
Unless the house catches on fire, stay inside and keep the doors
locked. Do not go outside and throw rocks at the bathroom window to get my attention. I know it works in the movies. This is reality, the place where people don’t like to sit in a tub while rocks and broken glass rain in on them.
Do not set the house on fire. Call me if there is an emergency.
Emergencies are:
1. Dad has fallen off the roof.
2. Your brother and/or sister is bleeding.
3. There’s a red fire truck in front of our house.
Emergencies are not:
1. Dad has fallen asleep.
2. Someone on TV is bleeding.
3. There’s a red pickup truck in front of our house.
One other thing: Being forced to use the last roll of toilet paper for a towel does not make me happy. It makes me sticky with little white polka dots. In the future, when anything in the bathroom overflows, use a mop to clean up the water instead of every towel in the house. For my sanity’s sake, let’s pretend it was the tub, O.K.?
No, I don’t want to hear the real story. Ever.
Especially not while I’m standing in the pool of water you missed.
(P.S. All Play-Doh experiments are canceled.)
Be good. Entertain yourselves. Yes, you can do both at the same time. Try coloring, playing a game, or paying that stack of bills on the coffee table.
I’ll be out soon. Maybe.
Love, Mom
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