The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are this year’s winners. Read them carefully. Each is an artificial word with only one letter altered to form a real word. Some are terrifically innovative:

  1. Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
  2. Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
  3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
  4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
  5. Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
  6. Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
  7. Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
  8. Hipatitis : Terminal coolness.
  9. strong>Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
  10. Karmageddon : It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s, like, a serious bummer.
  11. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
  12. Glibido: All talk and no action.
  13. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
  14. Arachnoleptic fit(n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
  15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
  16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

And
The #1 pick:

17. Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.