The inner chaos of a web guy's mind.
Why parents drink…
Nov 21st
This is an oldie but a goody, I remember this letter from years ago so when I got it in an email this afternoon I just had to post it on the site. Being a parent now this letter has so much more meaning. The email was entitles “Why Parents Drink…“. It is so funny, anyone that is a parent will cringe and seriously as funny as it is THIS IS NOT A GOOD PRANK TO PLAY ON YOUR PARENTS!!!
A Mother passing by her son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to ‘Mom’ With the worst premonition she opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Mom:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it’s not only the passion… Mom she’s pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
Don’t worry Mom. I’m 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your Son Paul
P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I’m over at Dustin’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that’s in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it’s safe to come home!
How today’s society is killing the “Nice Guy”…
Nov 2nd
A rant I wish I didn’t have to make. Some people in society never cease to amaze and disgust me.
The expression no good dead goes unpunished has never meant more than it does today. The fact that we have degenerated to such a low in our society today that anyone doing something from the goodness of their heart comes under attack by barely human individuals that have nothing better to do than to try and discredit the actions of another.
Recently a tragedy hit my company (Mk2 Business Solutions) where my lead programmer/best friend’s sister was in a tragic car accident and is in ICU. I am not going to go over any details here as this is not the forum for the topic. I decided to use my companies hosting server and resources to create a website for my best friend to help the rest of the out of town family to keep up to date with his sister’s progress. The site also takes donations to help her in her recovery process. Everything was built and setup in a transparent nature and we even contacted a local newspaper which ran a story on her status and the launch of the site to help create awareness for her situation.
I thought nothing of doing this to help my best friend and his family during this terrible time. My heart goes out to him and his family and I wanted to do something to help them through this crisis. It is impossible to sit idly by as someone so close to you is going through so much pain.
Within 1 week of the newspaper article people that are of no blood relation at all to my best friends sister are PUBLICLY questioning the intentions of the site and where the proceeds are going. Upon hearing this news my heart hit the floor. I could not believe that people believe that someone cannot do a good deed without having to try and slander them publicly and question their intentions.
I know who these people are and as much as I want to return the favor you have done for me I refrain. See I wanted to do something to help a friend in need and you have tried to discredit me and my company. That is disgusting and low, lower than low. You have no morals and are barely human. It is people like you that have caused the death of the “Nice Guy”. No one wants to do anything out of the goodness of their heart anymore because people like you cause them pain and anguish for their actions.
The good that comes from this is that THIS nice guy is not dead, you cannot shut down the site and as far as the credibility of the site goes. BRING IT ON! There is nothing sinister or treacherous here, well aside from you that is. This site in question is jennymaguire.com and yes WE know exactly who the slandering parties are!
From one nice guy to those that try to stomp nice guys down. You haven’t crushed our will and we will continue to do good things even though disgusting creatures like yourselves try to discredit us.
What goes around comes around and I warn you KARMA is a bitch…
When I was your age – Funny
Oct 21st
I was wondering what I would say to my kids when they complain about what they don’t have and I always envisioned statements like, “When I was your age we didn’t have the internet.”, “IF we had to call our parents we had to find a payphone, we didn’t have cell phones”. Blah Blah Blah we all heard the stories from our parents having to walk 10 miles in 6 feet of snow uphill both ways bare foot to school. It’s going to be hilarious listening to ourselves explain to our kids what we didn’t have at their age.
I received this email today which articulates this better than anything I could say so I am relaying it to you. Hope you have a laugh about it. I DID…
THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!!
If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!!
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning Uphill… barefoot… BOTH ways
Yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, There was no way in hell I was going to lay A bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it!
But now that… I’m over the ripe old age of Thirty, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today.
You’ve got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it but you kids today you don’t know how good you’ve got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, We had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!
There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter, with a pen!
Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!
There were no MP3′ s or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the damn record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ’s usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!
We didn’t have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that’s it!
And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID either!
When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school,
Your mom, your boss, your Bookie, a collections agent, you Just didn’t know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn’t have any fancy Sony Playstation video Games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games Like ‘Space Invaders’ and ‘asteroids’. Your guy was a little square! You Actually had to use your Imagination!! And there were no multiple levels or Screens, it was just one screen…
Forever!
And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and Faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!
You had to use a Little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it Came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the Channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you Hear what I’m saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled Little rat-bastards!
And we didn’t have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove … Imagine that!
That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You kids today have got it too easy.
You’re spoiled. You guys wouldn’t have lasted
Five minutes back in 1980!
Regards,
The over 30 Crowd
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