The inner chaos of a web guy's mind.
Being Politically correct in Canada
Jan 24th
With our current society so focused on being politically correct and having to walk on egg shells every where we go. It is so easy to offend people it today society. I received this gem of an email joke and thought it would be great to share with my readers.
Due to the climate of political correctness now pervading Canada, Albertans will no longer be referred to as ‘Rednecks.’ You must now refer to them as Rocky Mountain/Prairie Canadians.
And furthermore:
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. She is not a ‘BABE’ or a ‘CHICK’ – She is a ‘ BREASTED Canadian.’
2. She is not ‘EASY’ – She is ‘HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.’
3. She is not a ‘DUMB BLONDE’ – She is a ‘LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.’
4. She has not ‘BEEN AROUND’ – She is a ‘PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.’
5. She does not ‘NAG’ you – She becomes ‘ VERBALLY REPETITIVE.’
6. She is not a ‘TWO-BIT HOOKER’ – She is a ‘ LOW COST PROVIDER.’
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a ‘BEER GUT’ – He has developed a ‘LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.’
2. He is not a ‘BAD DANCER’ – He is ‘ OVERLY CAUCASIAN..’
3. He does not ‘GET LOST ALL THE TIME’ – He ‘ INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.’
4. He is not ‘BALDING’ – He is in ‘FOLLICLE REGRESSION.’
5. He does not act like a ‘TOTAL ASS’ – He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.’
6. It’s not his ‘CRACK’ you see hanging out of his pants – It’s ‘REAR CLEAVAGE.’
Disclaimer: This message is intended only for the use of individuals with a sense of humour. If you have received this message unintentionally or otherwise and are not in possession of a sense of humour, DELETE IMMEDIATELY and DO NOT NOTIFY THE SENDER.
Apple blunders of 2008
Jan 5th
In the spirit of my dislike of Apple and everything they stand for, I have decided to compile a list of Apple’s greatest blunders of 2008.
Even though apple enthusiasts want to believe Apple can do no harm, it is not always the case. I know, all the mac users out there are screaming, BLASPHEMY! Apple did mange to make it on Fortune’s 21 Dumbest Moments in Business this year. While a tiny bit embarrassing, it’s nothing that Apple hasn’t been able to brush off and continue to provide us with ipods and iphones in our pockets. Oh iPhone, how magically we love thee.
The first dumb moment is the “I Am Rich” app. This little glowing red gem of joy cost costumers $1000. It scammed about 8 people out of their cash. Unfortunately, we here at Mac|Life pooled our money together and got the app for our mascot Salty. He hasn’t been the same since. Apple quickly pulled the app without the masses getting a chance to experience buyers remorse.
Apple’s next epic FAIL had to do with the untimely passing of CEO and Apple World Leader, Steve Jobs… Oh that’s right, he didn’t. There was the faux obituary posted on Bloomberg’s website, and then some snot-nosed kid decided to publish a story about Steve having a heart attack on CNN’s iReport. And like the media we have grown to love and respect, they didn’t check any sources before posting it. That’s right, CNN went hog wild with this and posted it without confirming the information.
Here are some other blunders Apple made is 2008.
iPhone 3G launch
Apple’s blunders revolve around the launch of Apple’s iPhone 3G. Though it has been wildly successful, surpassing even Apple’s own ambitious sales goals for 2008, the launch in July had serious issues, namely problems with iPhone activation. Since that iPhone 3G is subsidized by most carriers, a contract is required at the time of purchase. This eliminated the straightforward online activation process used with the original iPhone, leading to extremely long lines for weeks after the July 11 launch. To make matters worse, the servers responsible for activations went down early on July 11, and took a couple days to be resolved.
MobileMe launch
In addition to activation woes at launch, Apple’s MobileMe service, the revamped .Mac service which works intimately with the iPhone, suffered service outages, slow access, and syncing problems. Though not everyone was affected (I count myself as one of the lucky ones), Apple eventually offered users as much as 120 days of free access to make up for all the problems. Recent updates have made the service finally stable for most, if not all, users. Still, it was a big letdown for many hoping to rely on the over-the-air data-syncing for their iPhones.
F*CKING NDA
Another iPhone-related blunder was Apple’s initial refusal to lift the non-disclosure agreement attached to the iPhone SDK. This refusal led to difficulty in getting assistance with iPhone programming issues, problems with iPhone-related developer conferences, and the inability to publish books on iPhone programming. Developers made a loud noise (including a certain obscene battle cry), which eventually led to Apple relenting and lifting the NDA. Developers rejoiced, but it still made Apple look pretty bad.
Still…
I can’t wait to see how Apple makes it onto next year’s list, but they won’t, because Apple does no wrong. Right?
Partnership Opportunity
Dec 17th
Strategic partnerships available on Mk2 Solutions in house projects
We are looking for strategic partnerships on various proprietary projects we are developing and others that are currently live.
Qualified candidate must have the following.
- Strong understanding of online marketing.
- Experience with adsense.
- Established viral marketing campaign experience.
- PHP programming experience an asset.
The offering.
- Percentage ownership on choice of project negotiable based on experience and commitment.
- Profit sharing based on ownership percentage of project.
Projects Available for partnership.
- Psyc3d.com
- YourGolfStats.com
- Tube Project
Tube Projects sites.
To apply use the contact form and select investment as the reason.
Recent Comments