EVERYONE NEEDS TO READ ALL OF THIS and HAVE CHILDREN READ IT TOO!
After tossing her books on the sofa, she decided to grab a snack and get on-line. She logged on under her screen name ByAngel213. She checked her Buddy List and saw GoTo123 was on. She sent him an instant message:

ByAngel213:
Hi. I’m glad you are on! I thought someone was following me home today. It was really weird!

GoTo123:
LOL You watch too much TV. Why would someone be following you?
Don’t you live in a safe neighborhood?
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Little Monster: "I hate my teacher."

Mother Monster: "Well, then just eat your salad, dear!"

There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish.

He was saying, "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale."

A preacher walked up and asked why he was calling them dam fish.

The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish."

The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to cook the dam fish.

His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren't supposed to talk like that."

The preacher explained why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them. When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down, the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.

His son replied, "That's the spirit dad. Pass the fucking potatoes!"