You need to have flash installed and javascript enabled to view this site properly

How many forum posters Joke

How many forum posters does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

1 to move it to the Lighting section

2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section

7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

5 to flame the spell checkers

3 to correct spelling/grammar flames

6 to argue over whether it’s “lightbulb” or “light bulb” … another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is “lamp”

15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that “light bulb” is perfectly correct

19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum

11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum

36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

7 to post URL’s where one can see examples of different light bulbs

4 to post that the URL’s were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL’s

3 to post about links they found from the URL’s that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add “Me too”

5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

4 to say “didn’t we go through this already a short time ago?”

13 to say “do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs”

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again.

Posted in Humour/Jokes | No Comments »

How do kids know?

My kids love Treehouse  the television channel  but like all  children they have  the attention span of  gnats.  For us adults it becomes just background noise to us so we ignore it. However in no time the kids have wandered off and we haven’t them in 10 minutes and for some strange reason we are still watching Treehouse. Realizing that both the kids are playing downstairs with each other we decide to change the channel . No more than 30 seconds after we change the channel the 3 year old wanders  in the room “tweehoose, where is tweehoose” HOW DO THEY KNOW YOU CAN’T EVEN HEAR THE TV DOWNSTAIRS.

This hasn’t happened just once it happens ALL THE TIME

Posted in Humour/Jokes, Why & How | No Comments »

For Golfers

For Golfers

At dawn the telephone rings.
“Hello, Senor Lucky? This is Ernesto the caretaker at your country house.”
“Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?”
“Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor, that your parrot died.
“My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?”
“Si, Senor,that”s the one.”
“Damn! That”s a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. “What did he die from?” “From eating rotten meat, Senor” “Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?”
“Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse.”
“Dead horse? What dead horse?”
“The thoroughbred, Senor Lucky. He died from all that work pulling the water cart.”
“Are you insane? What water cart?”
“The one we used to put out the fire, Senor”
“Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?”
“The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire.”
“What the…..!!! But there”s electricity at the house!!! What was the candle for?”
“For the funeral, Senor.”
WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?!”
“Your wife”s, Senor…She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Tiger Woods Nike Driver.”
SILENCE……………….

“Ernesto if you broke that driver, you”re in deep shit!”

Posted in Golf, Humour/Jokes | No Comments »

Actual sign in golf course urinal

Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scottsdale, Arizona:

1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.
3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN! .
4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING.
5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU.
8. DON”T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
9. QUIET PLEASE…WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING TO GO.
10. DON”T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.

WELL DONE - NOW FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF

Posted in Golf, Humour/Jokes | No Comments »

Matthew Chitty Portfolio Psyc3d Animation Google