Inteligence Test Part 2

Rules are the same as the first intelligence test answer the question quickly and move on to the the answer. Good Luck, this test can frustrate even the smartest of people.

What do you put in a toaster?
Answer: Bread If you said “Toast” then give up now and go and find yourself a shoe box as as you can’t handle life… If you said “Bread” then please progress on to question 2

(Q2)Say “SILK” 5 times, Now spell “SILK”. . . What do Cows drink?

Answer: “Water” If you said “MILK” may I suggest that you do not try the next question, as it may seen that you brain cell is overtaxed, you need a holiday….May I suggest children’s world? If you said “WATER” then you may go onto question 3

(Q3) If a red house is made from red bricks, a blue house is made from blue bricks, a pink house is made from pink bricks, a black house is made out of black bricks…..what is a Greenhouse made of?

Answer:”GLASS” If you said “Green Bricks” then what are you still doing here reading these questions? If you said “Glass” then please progress onto question 4

(Q4)20 Years ago a plane is flying at 20,000 FT, over the old country Germany when 2 of the engines fail, the pilot realizing that the last remaining engine was failing. He proceeds to prepare for a crash landing, but unfortunately the engine fails before he has time and the plane crashes smack in the middle of “No Man’s Land” the land between East Germany and West Germany in the middle of the Berlin wall. Where would you bury the survivors, East Germany or West Germany or in “No Man’s Land”?
Answer: “You don’t bury ’survivors’ if you said anything other than the sentence above then please never fly, you may cause more damage than the plane crash!!! If you said the sentence above then carry onto question 5

Q5) If on a clock the hour hand movied 1/60th of a degree every minute then how many degrees will the hand travel in 1 hour.

Answer: “1 DEGREE” If you said “360 Degrees”, or anything other than the answer, may I congratulate you on getting this far but be honest with yourself, do you think you can handle the last and final question? If you said “1 Degree” then please go on the the last question.

Q6) Without using a calculator you are driving a bus from Londono to Milford Haven (Wales) in London 17 people get on the bus, In Reading 6 people get off, 9 people get on, in Swindon 2 people get off, 4 people get on, in cardiff 11 people get off, 16 people get on, In swansea 3 people get off 5 people get on, In carmarthen, 6 people get off,3 people get then te bus pulls into Milford Haven bus depot…..

What was the name of the bus driver?
Answer: “Your Name.” Read the first Line.

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Below are four (4 ) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can’t take your time, answer all of them immediately. OK? Let’s find out just how clever you really are.Ready? GO!!!

(scroll down)
First Question:

You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?

Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!

Try not to screw up in the next question. To answer the second question, don’t take as much time as you took for the first question!

Second Question:

If you overtake the last person, then you are…?
Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person? You’re not very good at this! Are you?

Third Question: Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it. Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000 Now add 10. What is the total?

Scroll down for answer.
Did you get 5000?

The correct answer is actually 4100. Don’t believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right?

Fourth Question: Mary’s father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?
Answer: Nunu?

NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary Read the question again

Okay, now the bonus round: There is a mute person who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one’s teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Now if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself?

He just has to open his mouth and ask, so simple.

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Why just ask Why?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on “insufficient funds” when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn’t glue stick to the bottle?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an “S” in the word “lisp”?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, “It’s all right?” Well, it isn’t all right so why don’t we say, “That hurt, you dumbass”?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that’s falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

If at first you don’t succeed, shouldn’t you try doing it like your wife told you to do it? And obviously if at first you don’t succeed, then don’t take up sky diving!

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they’re okay, then it’s you.

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The joys of living in BC….

A woman from Vancouver Island , who was a tree hugger and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland. There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land, so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top, she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her.

In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch. In considerable pain, she hurried to the nearest doctor. She told him she was an environmentalist and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters.

The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go into the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded, “What took you so long?”

He smiled and than told her, “Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area.

Vancouver (Reuters)

Day 2 - Vancouver Blizzard 2006 - Revenge of the Commuters

Chilled Vancouver commuters faced their second day of winter hell today, as an additional ¼ centimetre of the peculiar white stuff fell, bringing the lower mainland to its knees and causing millions of dollars worth of damage to the marijuana crops. Scientists suspect that the substance is some form of frozen water particles and experts from Saskatchewan are being flown in.
With temperatures dipping to the almost but not quite near zero mark, Vancouverites were warned to double insulate their lattes before venturing out.

Vancouver police recommended that people stay inside except for emergencies, such as running out of espresso or biscotti to see them through Vancouver’s most terrible storm to date. The local Canadian Tire reported that they had completely sold out of fur-lined sandals.

Drivers were cautioned to put their convertible tops up, and several have been shocked to learn that their SUV’s actually have four wheel drive, although most have no idea how to use it.

Weary commuters faced soggy sushi, and the threat of frozen breast implants.
Although Dr. John Blatherwick, of the Coastal Health Authority reassured everyone that most breast implants were perfectly safe to 25 below, down-filled bras are flying off the shelves at Mountain Equipment Co-op.

“The government has to do something,” snarled an angry Trevor Warburton. “I didn’t pay $540,000 for my one bedroom condo so I could sit around and be treated like someone from Toronto.”

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