In the spirit of funny lists I received this in my email and what a definitive list of what it means to be a British Columbian. I have been living in B.C for 10 years and even in that time I can see how this list rings true. Enjoy!

What it means to be A British Columbian
We love it here and wouldn’t change it for anything.

1. You know the provincial flower (Mildew)
2. You feel guilty throwing aluminum cans or paper in the trash.
3. You use the statement ’sunny break’ and know what it means.
4. You know more than 10 ways to order coffee.
5. You know more people who own boats than air conditioners.
6. You feel overdressed wearing a suit to a nice restaurant.
7. You stand on a deserted corner in the rain waiting for the ‘Walk’ signal.
8. You consider that if it has no snow, it is not a real mountain.
9. You can taste the difference between Starbucks, Esquires, and Tim Horton’s.
10. You know the difference between Chinook, Coho, and Sockeye salmon.
11. You know how to pronounce Squamish, Osoyoos, Nanaimo and Tsawwassen.
12. You consider swimming an indoor sport.
13. You can tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Korean and Thai food.
14. In winter, you go to work in the dark and come home in the dark while only working eight-hour days.
15. You never go camping without waterproof matches and a poncho.
16. You are not fazed by ‘Today’s forecast: showers followed by rain, ‘and’ Tomorrow’s forecast: rain followed by showers.’
17. You cannot wait for a day with ’showers and sunny breaks’.
18. You have no concept of humidity without precipitation.
19. You know that Dawson Creek is a town, not a TV show.
20. You can point to at least two ski mountains, even if you cannot see through the cloud cover.
21. You notice ‘the mountain is out’ when it is a pretty day and you can actually see it.
22. You put on your shorts when the temperature gets above 5, but still wear your hiking boots and parka.
23. You switch to your sandals when it gets about 10, but keep your socks on.
24. You have actually used your mountain bike on a mountain.
25. You think people who use umbrellas are either wimps or tourists.
26. You recognize the background shots in your favourite movies & TV shows.
27. You buy new sunglasses every year, because you can’t find the old ones after such a long time.
28. You measure distance in hours.
29. You often switch from ‘heat’ to ‘a/c’ in your car in the same day.
30. You use a down comforter in the summer.
31. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them.
32. You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit under a raincoat.
33. You know all the important seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Raining (Spring), Road Construction (Summer) & Raining Again (Fall).
34.  You know what “we’re gonna make the 5:00″ means.
35. You actually understand these jokes and forward them to all your friends in British Columbia or those who used to live here!

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You know how everyone has ‘A GUY’ that knows a guy that can get something done, or has the answer to a question?

Well I have come to a realization in my life that I AM THAT GUY! When I was a kid my parents used to call me a know it all because I had an answer for everything and was able to solve most problems. I always looked at everything and wanted to figure out how to make it better than it was. Through my years I have never really owned anything that I left stock. Always tweaking, modifying or editing things to make them better and function the way I wanted them to.

As I got older and began working different jobs I was always able to look at process and procedure and figure out a more effecient way of doing things. I was never shy about giving myt opinion or answering a question for people. Most of the time I was just ignored when I gave my opinion on a topic or a situation. If not ignored many people just said things like “What do you know?”, “It is what it is!”, “Your too young, in a few years you will see that this is the best way.”

A few years have past and I have said the words “I told you so…” far too often for my liking, so for a while I stopped giving my input and helping people. The funny think is though that my phone keeps ringing with people asking me if I know how to do something or if I can help them with something. I am that guy that people call when they need an answer to something or to ask if I have a connection. I have come to welcome the fact that in my years I have learned a lot about many things. I am not a specialist in anything but a “jack of many trades” as some would call it.

Being in the computer industry I have people constantly calling me or asking for assistance in specific areas or to figure out how to do something. There are so many people that I meet in my business that initially don’t beleive the amount of knowledge I have and the ability I have to design/redesign procedures to make them more efficient.

Other than tooting my own horn of course I have decided that to help unload this knowledge and share it with people I will start using this blog as a place for anyone to ask me a question about anything and I will offer up my opinion or solution to a problem. If you have a question or a problem that you need a solution for then feel free to leave a comment on this post and I will try to offer up my solution. Take my feedback, use my advice or just ignore me it really does not matter but the offer is there!

Just me trying to give back a little to the world…

Posted in Business, Computers, HowTo & Tips, Personal, Rants & Thoughts, Why & How | No Comments »

This is an oldie but a goody, I remember this letter from years ago so when I got it in an email this afternoon I just had to post it on the site. Being a parent now this letter has so much more meaning. The email was entitles “Why Parents Drink…“. It is so funny, anyone that is a parent will cringe and seriously as funny as it is THIS IS NOT A GOOD PRANK TO PLAY ON YOUR PARENTS!!!

A Mother passing by her son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.

Then she saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to ‘Mom’ With the worst premonition she opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Mom:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it’s not only the passion… Mom she’s pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy. In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don’t worry Mom. I’m 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,

Your Son Paul
P.S. Mom, none of the above is true. I’m over at Dustin’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that’s in my center desk drawer.

I love you.

Call me when it’s safe to come home!

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A rant I wish I didn’t have to make. Some people in society never cease to amaze and disgust me.

The expression no good dead goes unpunished has never meant more than it does today. The fact that we have degenerated to such a low in our society today that anyone doing something from the goodness of their heart comes under attack by barely human individuals that have nothing better to do than to try and discredit the actions of another.

Recently a tragedy hit my company (Mk2 Business Solutions) where my lead programmer/best friend’s sister was in a tragic car accident and is in ICU. I am not going to go over any details here as this is not the forum for the topic. I decided to use my companies hosting server and resources to create a website for my best friend to help the rest of the out of town family to keep up to date with his sister’s progress. The site also takes donations to help her in her recovery process. Everything was built and setup in a transparent nature and we even contacted a local newspaper which ran a story on her status and the launch of the site to help create awareness for her situation.

I thought nothing of doing this to help my best friend and his family during this terrible time. My heart goes out to him and his family and I wanted to do something to help them through this crisis. It is impossible to sit idly by as someone so close to you is going through so much pain.

Within 1 week of the newspaper article people that are of no blood relation at all to my best friends sister are PUBLICLY questioning the intentions of the site and where the proceeds are going. Upon hearing this news my heart hit the floor. I could not believe that people believe that someone cannot do a good deed without having to try and slander them publicly and question their intentions.

I know who these people are and as much as I want to return the favor you have done for me I refrain. See I wanted to do something to help  a friend in need and you have tried to discredit me and my company. That is disgusting and low, lower than low. You have no morals and are barely human. It is people like you that have caused the death of the “Nice Guy”. No one wants to do anything out of the goodness of their heart anymore because people like you cause them pain and anguish for their actions.

The good that comes from this is that THIS nice guy is not dead, you cannot shut down the site and as far as the credibility of the site goes. BRING IT ON! There is nothing sinister or treacherous here, well aside from you that is. This site in question is jennymaguire.com and yes WE know exactly who the slandering parties are!

From one nice guy to those that try to stomp nice guys down. You haven’t crushed our will and we will continue to do good things even though disgusting creatures like yourselves try to discredit us.

What goes around comes around and I warn you KARMA is a bitch…

Posted in Personal, Rants & Thoughts, Why & How | 1 Comment »